Dear diary,
Just came back from KL today, had skipped a few days of recording my semester break activities I suppose, don't remember much before the KL trip, just remember being sort of excited, buying all the tickets and all that.
PERSPECTIVE OF MATURITY
Let's talk about my perspective of maturity now, I may be delusional, but let this be something for myself to judge when I look back to this post.
I guess the only thing I remember is discussing to my significant other about the emotionally instability in our relationship, we both agree that we are both immature, and that we have very horrible flaws, but disloyalty is certainly not one of them. In my perspective, I feel that he had random emotional outbursts due to pent up stress from other sources, he cares about what people think of him and cannot tolerate ill thoughts of other people, and that I take it as a sign of immaturity, you see, as I have explained, people are going to do that no matter what, you can't possibly satisfy everyone's (sometimes) selfish needs, moreover, people tend to hate on things that are different than them, I admit, people who disagree with my opinion often leave a bad taste to my mouth, and that shows MY immaturity.
So when someone you know but have no power to directly/indirectly affect your life have strong opinions of you, let them be, because so what, you have better more productive and meaningful things to do in your life than to pine on what they THINK about you. Because the amount of time you waste your life wondering why don't they approve of you, is not worth the fleeting amount of time they invested on judging you.
Well, my opinions non-the less. While he think I am immature because I wouldn't admit my fault, well the thing is, I actually didn't think I'm at fault here, and I have apologized many times even when I don't think it's justified to maintain pleasantness throughout the relationship, but not this time, because this time he is blaming me for whatever emotional turmoil caused by external reasons.
Everything was settled in the end, we both agreed that it takes two hands to clap, and also the fact that, we are suited to each other because even though we have all these differences and we are brought up by drastically different families, our core values are the same, we strongly disagree to infidelity, among other things, while other couples are fighting over serious matters such as cheating, materialistic issues and much more complicated stuff, we are still like kids fighting over childish things, and that, although I don't enjoy the fights, make me feel sort of a sense of safety.
My mom helped me with some of my thought process too, she said what you view of your partner is very subjective and not the truth, it is all in your perspective, but a relationship needs give and take, when your partner is down, you have the role to encourage, and vice versa, that's the beauty of relationship.
So there's that.
WEIRD DREAMS
For the past few days my dreams had been real weird. There's this one time I dreamt of an infectious disease that sort of turned people into zombies, but in my dreams they weren't zombies, but they sort of exhibit similar traits of a zombie, for example biting people will infect other people, but they can't really sense you unless you're loud, one weird thing, like really weird and inappropriate, is if you cover yourself with female stuff, I dunno, like the stuff that accumulate at the "flaps...", and stay real quiet, even if you are in direct sight of the zombie, there is a high chance they'll ignore you. Some flashes from my dreams include me and SO living in this basement like thingy with a square hole on a roof for us to get in and out, it's really safe once in because it's really inconvenient for a zombie to get in. However this one time I went grocery shopping.... yeah it's like a dystopian world where infectious zombies is a thing and people sort of accepted it as a risk and business still goes on as normal... and i went grocery shopping, and this lady gave me a tip about masking myself which is using the female part thing, and when I went home one of the people I'm with sort of was a retard and was speaking really loudly, that attracted nearby zombie hoard, we tried to hide in a used tuition room in a building, but the zombies still found us, I quickly covered myself with the "stuff" and closed my eyes and waited for whatever comes. I survived. Most of the others were mauled. My significant other was worried sick when I got home.
What an adventure I had.
Anyways, I will be going to my significant other's house tomorrow to play some games he downloaded, including Binding of Isaac, can't wait. I would love to write about my KL experience here, however, I'm really just so tired. Not sure why, I was well rested throughout the trip, but just feel fatigue, hopefully I will write it tomorrow, and hopefully my memory is still fresh, because I do enjoy the trip and it was satisfying and rather budgeted.
Just came back from KL today, had skipped a few days of recording my semester break activities I suppose, don't remember much before the KL trip, just remember being sort of excited, buying all the tickets and all that.
PERSPECTIVE OF MATURITY
Let's talk about my perspective of maturity now, I may be delusional, but let this be something for myself to judge when I look back to this post.
I guess the only thing I remember is discussing to my significant other about the emotionally instability in our relationship, we both agree that we are both immature, and that we have very horrible flaws, but disloyalty is certainly not one of them. In my perspective, I feel that he had random emotional outbursts due to pent up stress from other sources, he cares about what people think of him and cannot tolerate ill thoughts of other people, and that I take it as a sign of immaturity, you see, as I have explained, people are going to do that no matter what, you can't possibly satisfy everyone's (sometimes) selfish needs, moreover, people tend to hate on things that are different than them, I admit, people who disagree with my opinion often leave a bad taste to my mouth, and that shows MY immaturity.
So when someone you know but have no power to directly/indirectly affect your life have strong opinions of you, let them be, because so what, you have better more productive and meaningful things to do in your life than to pine on what they THINK about you. Because the amount of time you waste your life wondering why don't they approve of you, is not worth the fleeting amount of time they invested on judging you.
Well, my opinions non-the less. While he think I am immature because I wouldn't admit my fault, well the thing is, I actually didn't think I'm at fault here, and I have apologized many times even when I don't think it's justified to maintain pleasantness throughout the relationship, but not this time, because this time he is blaming me for whatever emotional turmoil caused by external reasons.
Everything was settled in the end, we both agreed that it takes two hands to clap, and also the fact that, we are suited to each other because even though we have all these differences and we are brought up by drastically different families, our core values are the same, we strongly disagree to infidelity, among other things, while other couples are fighting over serious matters such as cheating, materialistic issues and much more complicated stuff, we are still like kids fighting over childish things, and that, although I don't enjoy the fights, make me feel sort of a sense of safety.
My mom helped me with some of my thought process too, she said what you view of your partner is very subjective and not the truth, it is all in your perspective, but a relationship needs give and take, when your partner is down, you have the role to encourage, and vice versa, that's the beauty of relationship.
So there's that.
WEIRD DREAMS
For the past few days my dreams had been real weird. There's this one time I dreamt of an infectious disease that sort of turned people into zombies, but in my dreams they weren't zombies, but they sort of exhibit similar traits of a zombie, for example biting people will infect other people, but they can't really sense you unless you're loud, one weird thing, like really weird and inappropriate, is if you cover yourself with female stuff, I dunno, like the stuff that accumulate at the "flaps...", and stay real quiet, even if you are in direct sight of the zombie, there is a high chance they'll ignore you. Some flashes from my dreams include me and SO living in this basement like thingy with a square hole on a roof for us to get in and out, it's really safe once in because it's really inconvenient for a zombie to get in. However this one time I went grocery shopping.... yeah it's like a dystopian world where infectious zombies is a thing and people sort of accepted it as a risk and business still goes on as normal... and i went grocery shopping, and this lady gave me a tip about masking myself which is using the female part thing, and when I went home one of the people I'm with sort of was a retard and was speaking really loudly, that attracted nearby zombie hoard, we tried to hide in a used tuition room in a building, but the zombies still found us, I quickly covered myself with the "stuff" and closed my eyes and waited for whatever comes. I survived. Most of the others were mauled. My significant other was worried sick when I got home.
What an adventure I had.
Anyways, I will be going to my significant other's house tomorrow to play some games he downloaded, including Binding of Isaac, can't wait. I would love to write about my KL experience here, however, I'm really just so tired. Not sure why, I was well rested throughout the trip, but just feel fatigue, hopefully I will write it tomorrow, and hopefully my memory is still fresh, because I do enjoy the trip and it was satisfying and rather budgeted.
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