Dear diary,
I guess it is easier to admit that I'm a failure than to actually work hard, of course I'll still try my best in life but the burnt out is real. Not sure why I have such little tolerance of stress, and can handle not much criticism nor work load, I used to be pretty hardy, but lately just felt super bummed.
My Final Year Project is significantly weighing me down emotionally, the fact that my peers are doing so well aren't helping either, there's also the realization that I tried much harder than anyone else while they were around mucking and have hobbies that they are really good at just makes me feel worse. There are some subjects that I took, while they all got As quite easily, I struggled and only got a measly B. And that did not feel good at all.
Then, I had a thought, it ain't your fault, it's just your state of mind, if you look up, you'll see tons of giant, if you look down, you'll realize there's tons of ants as well. When I work, I had the wrong attitude, that's why it makes me feel like I work harder than anyone else, because the truth is, I work way less, it's the fact that I put too much expectations and stress on myself that's making me miserable. And by the end of the day, that self brewing stress lead me incapacitated and I end up feeling like shit.
Writing these out really does make myself feel better.
I guess I'll sign off and continue on my work now.
Till we meet again next time my dear little diary, ciau.
I guess it is easier to admit that I'm a failure than to actually work hard, of course I'll still try my best in life but the burnt out is real. Not sure why I have such little tolerance of stress, and can handle not much criticism nor work load, I used to be pretty hardy, but lately just felt super bummed.
My Final Year Project is significantly weighing me down emotionally, the fact that my peers are doing so well aren't helping either, there's also the realization that I tried much harder than anyone else while they were around mucking and have hobbies that they are really good at just makes me feel worse. There are some subjects that I took, while they all got As quite easily, I struggled and only got a measly B. And that did not feel good at all.
Then, I had a thought, it ain't your fault, it's just your state of mind, if you look up, you'll see tons of giant, if you look down, you'll realize there's tons of ants as well. When I work, I had the wrong attitude, that's why it makes me feel like I work harder than anyone else, because the truth is, I work way less, it's the fact that I put too much expectations and stress on myself that's making me miserable. And by the end of the day, that self brewing stress lead me incapacitated and I end up feeling like shit.
Writing these out really does make myself feel better.
I guess I'll sign off and continue on my work now.
Till we meet again next time my dear little diary, ciau.
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