Dear diary,
Wow, look at all the free time I have now, I have been stressed out for so long, and now, although I don't have anything really important anymore, I still feel the stress of not using my time efficiently... Having so much free time feels weird now, the possibilities are endless, I can do whatever I want, but what do I do?
Finally done with the dumb ass FYP, there are some nagging things at the back of my head that's bothering me, somewhere along the lines of money and relationships, but overall life is seemingly pretty good. I want to change my mindset, because I realize in any point in my life, nothings is going to be perfect, I will always subconsciously find that one little thing that's wrong, and blow it up and be super upset about it. Honestly I irritate myself sometimes. Yeah sure, you're not the best in your class, you're not doing as well as some of your peers, they have better hair, there are times when they are not nice to you, but, I am doing better in some other aspects in life, I have better artistic skills than any of them, I am more comfortable in my own skin and enjoy hobbies, I have an SO who have mad cooking skills while they are forking out more than 10 bucks for that overpriced aglio olio when my SO can whip it up at my whim, also sometimes I give them the bitch face too, so there's that. Nothing is black and white, so chill, your life is not that good, but it's not that bad either.
One step at a time, I think at this point you can say my social incapability is obvious, but one step at a time, I managed to hold a decent conversation with a stranger the other day, incredibly tiring, incredibly not enjoyable, but I tried.
Anyways, even though it's not exactly incredibly amazing by the standards of the people in my course, but I'm pretty proud of what I achieved for my FYP, I would not have ever thought I could code a few years ago, let alone code something like this and understand it now.
Moving on, here's the general output of what I did, you did it future me, it have been really difficult, but I learned a bunch of stuff along the way.
My next big hurdle is to make friends. I don't even care if they are long term or sincere, I just want them to be mildly interesting and of course, not assholes.
Wow, look at all the free time I have now, I have been stressed out for so long, and now, although I don't have anything really important anymore, I still feel the stress of not using my time efficiently... Having so much free time feels weird now, the possibilities are endless, I can do whatever I want, but what do I do?
Finally done with the dumb ass FYP, there are some nagging things at the back of my head that's bothering me, somewhere along the lines of money and relationships, but overall life is seemingly pretty good. I want to change my mindset, because I realize in any point in my life, nothings is going to be perfect, I will always subconsciously find that one little thing that's wrong, and blow it up and be super upset about it. Honestly I irritate myself sometimes. Yeah sure, you're not the best in your class, you're not doing as well as some of your peers, they have better hair, there are times when they are not nice to you, but, I am doing better in some other aspects in life, I have better artistic skills than any of them, I am more comfortable in my own skin and enjoy hobbies, I have an SO who have mad cooking skills while they are forking out more than 10 bucks for that overpriced aglio olio when my SO can whip it up at my whim, also sometimes I give them the bitch face too, so there's that. Nothing is black and white, so chill, your life is not that good, but it's not that bad either.
One step at a time, I think at this point you can say my social incapability is obvious, but one step at a time, I managed to hold a decent conversation with a stranger the other day, incredibly tiring, incredibly not enjoyable, but I tried.
Anyways, even though it's not exactly incredibly amazing by the standards of the people in my course, but I'm pretty proud of what I achieved for my FYP, I would not have ever thought I could code a few years ago, let alone code something like this and understand it now.
Moving on, here's the general output of what I did, you did it future me, it have been really difficult, but I learned a bunch of stuff along the way.
My next big hurdle is to make friends. I don't even care if they are long term or sincere, I just want them to be mildly interesting and of course, not assholes.
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