Dear diary,
I am very very pissed.
Well, for starters, I was actually starting to be interested in the stupid ass URS meeting, and was actually interested in their progress.
I've wasted enough time there anyways, every week for one hour. I waited there awkwardly... and now she wants to cut me off.
I hate my supervisor, I don't want to be the type that hates their bosses, but she is an awful vile human being, where it is obvious that she does not have my best interest at heart, the worse part is, she tries to make it seem like she does. She's just plain selfish with her research and like many other lecturers, is interested in increasing her KPI.
Took me awhile to realize that these supervisors don't really give two shits about you. Apparently I'm in one of those academic environment where I've read so much about, the super toxic ones.
She said I might be able to get my stipend back in January but I don't know man, everything really need to depend on her mood, can't just take her word for it.
I'm also starting to think that she wanted me to write what I wrote when I retracted my stipend because she is afraid of trouble, not because she wants me to reapply in January.
She knew that isolation was the main reason why I am performing so badly, she's already so darn aware of it already, that's one of the first thing she said to her URS members.
I've helped her so much already, I won international conference best paper/presentation award twice. I used my own money to travel to those international conference, I put her name and the freaking University's name on it. Got scolded because of stupid reasons. Put in so much effort, withstood those mental challenges and this is how she treats me? She threatened to take away my stipend and when I retracted it she acts all "why? it's alright, just do your proposal defense bla blabla" OH MY GOD STOP FAKING IT.
From what I can see in this situation, I can tell, perhaps she saw that I was talking to them, and she can also sense that the relationship of the students and her are getting sour, well, can't have two parties being pissed at her at the same time right? Better isolate one of them again.
Fudge this whole thing.
Even her previous student had another masters student at least they don't have to work in isolation.
What a horrible horrible situation.
At least I learned one lesson here, be careful who you work with, it'll either make your life hell, or make your job seem like a holiday.
The worst part is, I can't really do anything about it, she's in power.
I really wanted to join them when they actually implement it in the farm. But oh well.
I am very very pissed.
Well, for starters, I was actually starting to be interested in the stupid ass URS meeting, and was actually interested in their progress.
I've wasted enough time there anyways, every week for one hour. I waited there awkwardly... and now she wants to cut me off.
I hate my supervisor, I don't want to be the type that hates their bosses, but she is an awful vile human being, where it is obvious that she does not have my best interest at heart, the worse part is, she tries to make it seem like she does. She's just plain selfish with her research and like many other lecturers, is interested in increasing her KPI.
Took me awhile to realize that these supervisors don't really give two shits about you. Apparently I'm in one of those academic environment where I've read so much about, the super toxic ones.
She said I might be able to get my stipend back in January but I don't know man, everything really need to depend on her mood, can't just take her word for it.
I'm also starting to think that she wanted me to write what I wrote when I retracted my stipend because she is afraid of trouble, not because she wants me to reapply in January.
She knew that isolation was the main reason why I am performing so badly, she's already so darn aware of it already, that's one of the first thing she said to her URS members.
I've helped her so much already, I won international conference best paper/presentation award twice. I used my own money to travel to those international conference, I put her name and the freaking University's name on it. Got scolded because of stupid reasons. Put in so much effort, withstood those mental challenges and this is how she treats me? She threatened to take away my stipend and when I retracted it she acts all "why? it's alright, just do your proposal defense bla blabla" OH MY GOD STOP FAKING IT.
From what I can see in this situation, I can tell, perhaps she saw that I was talking to them, and she can also sense that the relationship of the students and her are getting sour, well, can't have two parties being pissed at her at the same time right? Better isolate one of them again.
Fudge this whole thing.
Even her previous student had another masters student at least they don't have to work in isolation.
What a horrible horrible situation.
At least I learned one lesson here, be careful who you work with, it'll either make your life hell, or make your job seem like a holiday.
The worst part is, I can't really do anything about it, she's in power.
I really wanted to join them when they actually implement it in the farm. But oh well.
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