Taiwan NCTU so far

October 19, 2020

Taiwan NCTU so far

Hi there, diary, I am back, I know I said that this place will only have space for happy memories, no unhappy rants, just, an overall happy place, to not taint it, but, alas, I have failed once again, this place has become a ranting ground, a negativity breeding ground, somewhere I vent my anger, and unhappiness.

Anyways, this unhappiness is actually triggered by an event, so, I suppose, not all is bad. Basically, yesterday, there was a social event, and I've once again embarrassed myself by being this super awkward person staring at other people and listening in to their conversation. Just, I mean, if I was people around me I would be weirded out, gosh, why am I weird.

I wished I haven't gone there, it's not like I remember anything or anyone, I was so tired, and I had to spend like 330 NTD for some burger that isn't even tasty. It looks tasty, but it isn't, at least for me.

At least the fries are good... The pork is dry, and the kimchi tasted cheap... or I have cheap taste, and that is actually expensive kimchi that I don't enjoy.

My whole body, isn't well adjusted, I just feel tired all the time... and, just so foggy and blanked out, and I still have to do a crap ton of programming. Social mingling is just confusing and anxiety inducing for me, sigh, I wish there was some sort of therapy that would rid me of this burden.

I am lonely, I want to travel around with like-minded friends, so tired of being busy. It's stressful here, but in a way, better than back home, when you're not doing anything but still stressed, at least I'm learning a lot here.

I meet a lot of people who are trying to get out of poverty from their third world/ developing countries. They came here, without much money, saved by scholarship, worked their ass off, and it's obvious, they're really proud of themselves, they deserve it! They are so amazing, they told me a lot about their lives, about their struggles, and wins, and opinions, it's not about their stories, it's about their perspective and mindset and the commitment to persevere, the willingness to work hard. Back home, it seems that I have been surrounded by not exactly these type of people, kind of had a negative impact on me.

I love listening to stories nonetheless.

Here are some pictures though.

One of my favorite past time is to sit outside during a windy night, on a bench in a dark area, and just chill there eating ice cream. I can only do it during the autumn and winter though, the rest of the season has a crap ton of mosquito...

I love my room mate's lab, it is so homey and clean and comfortable, it even has cats lying around. Someone's pet, of course.

NCTU library is just darn impressive I must say, with 8 floors, and a darn nice view. They have books from all kinds of topics, it's just amazing. Lots of seats to study too.